Breathe monologue...o_O

%&UO*^$##@%%^@!)*(!  I can’t breathe!  #@$#%&UO*^$#

Seriously, I can’t breathe with a group of ‘Mr Cholesterol’ living under my skin and thickening inside my artery calamari! (I’m not sure if I get that right, I failed biology, since I was three). The thing is that, I sound fat, every time I walk and talk! Can you imagine how ridiculous and implausible this whole gigantic- cholesterol things to me? It has to end… like ASAP end!

‘Oh God the Merciful one, thank you for giving me another day, forgive me if I did not follow your way, of course that comprises; me being so weighty progressively. I am in an extremely regretful for being so stupid when it comes to food.’ (That’s me praying, to God the Merciful one, just in case you wondering).

I mean…. how dare I let myself be distorted from sweet normal Homo sapiens to B.I.G absurd homo-sorus creature. (H.E.L.L-owh...! I don’t even realize when in reality-; I finally extent to this kind of inclusive fatness level. This is so-owh-owh-owh like, a blink of an elephant eye, if I must sing.) And just in case I have to associate the level of my chubbiness with…err… says the CGPA, I might have gotten the dean list honour gravely akin to every semester (not to mention the sudden chancellor award for some kind of special purposes). Cry Out Loud~~

This has to stop!!! 

KRINGGGGG!!!! ß-  Another typical infamous ringing tone.

Me: Yes, Yen Eula Speaking… (To tell you the truth, Yen Eula is not my real name; it is the name I gave to myself when I was in the state of boringness.)

Anonymous: Miss Eula, it’s me; Anonymous from “You-Are-Getting-Tooo-Fat-And-The-World-Just-Can’t-Stand-It-Anymore” company. Woulchu-woulchu would you like to purchase some advises and tips on how to loosen up your weight in just a matter of memory? We have some special offer for you, our dearly flabby customer.

Me: Errr....no thanks! (Dushhhh! I just put down the phone and toss it next to disposable area in Mogadishu territory). How could this happen to such a big-hearted person like me? I have to stop living my unhealthy lifestyle. No more Candy! No more Kfc! No more Mcd! No more fast food! No more late night supper cravenness!  In short; more jog, zero coke, find job, with Bob. Who’s Bob? It’s Odd! I got, to STOP! +____+  

*By the time you read this, I just devotedly finished a bowl of some innocent chicken porridge which my father happen to enthusiastically prepared at 1.05 am in the morning, Out of sudden, while everyone except me was in their peaceful state of slee-ppy-ness.*